Any sense of lingering doom is usually not true, because death waits for no one. It would have you killed by now.
That’s why when I had my last last accident where I was biking 30 miles per hour down a hill and I saw a red car making a turn towards me, all I said was, “Oh my fucking god!”
That’s all I COULD say, anyway. I had no way out. Then I hit the concrete. The doom didn’t linger around; it just struck, and that was it.
On the last accident, I was crossing a street on my bike. The car on the opposite side decides to make a left turn, heading towards me. I said, “Oh my…” Instinctively, I realized, “This car’s going to hit me.”
There was a boat that was supposed to be unsinkable. It was called the RMS Titanic. It hit an iceberg on its first trip and sank to the depths of the ocean, claiming over 1,500 lives.
I was the Titanic and this car coming at me was the iceberg. In retrospect, it’s chilling because the car was also white and shaped like an oval.
My bike and I were positioned in a way that had that car struck me at that moment, I would have the entire boat sinking in a matter of hours. Many passengers would have died an unnecessary death. In short, my leg would have been broken.
But it was like that scene from The Matrix in which Neo dodged the bullets.
I had a split-second to make one more move. Instead of screaming (which didn’t do anything for me last time) I asked, “What’s the best action to protect myself?”
At that moment I hit the front brakes and turned my bike so that instead of being sideways, my back tire was facing the bumper. Now my leg wasn’t going to get hit. This was all happening in slow-mo, just like in the movie.
The doom disappeared. At that point, I knew I was as safe as I could get.
Then I said, “…God”, a lot less loud and a lot more calm. I was more annoyed than scared, because the car still managed to hit my bike.
After screaming several bouts of “Are you fucking serious?!” at the driver, I checked my bike and was extremely surprised to find it unscathed. Luckily, my leg and my bike were spared of a cruel fate.
I was seriously headed towards my destination, which were the university fields. All I cared about the most was kicking a ball, and nothing was going to stop me from getting there.
So what does this all have to do with lingering doom?
If you feel like you’re trapped, ten minutes later you still feel trapped, but you’re able to move around in the world and go anywhere you want, you’re experiencing lingering doom. It’s imagined. It’s easy to feel that way if you:
- Graduated college and find yourself with no social circle
- Realized your mistakes in your past relationship but he or she doesn’t want you anymore
- Find yourself severely out of shape when you thought you were okay
They’re set backs, and they’re annoying. They’re also known as a crashing of the worlds: you thought things were okay, but reality is different. The important thing is that you have become aware of how things actually are. And better yet, there’s a way to put lingering doom away.
“What?” That’s what the best course of action is: the word “what”.
What, what, what. Ask yourself…
WHAT is one action you can take to improve your current situation? Anytime you’re at a crossroads, that question should pop-up in your head. Don’t think of any elaborate plans. Think of one action.
As for “Why?” The why’s will come in due time.
One day you’ll stumble upon a book on how to improve in relationships. Then you’ll realize the little mistakes you did in your last relationship summed up to a break-up. That’s if improvement is what you want.
Had I wondered WHY that car was heading towards me instead of thinking what I can do, I would be typing this with one leg and I wouldn’t have a clear answer. I still don’t care why that car headed towards me, because it doesn’t matter.